Learning to Say Thank You: The Art of Accepting Compliments
Compliments are great, right? Who doesn’t like hearing something kind or encouraging about themselves? And yet, many people—maybe even you—struggle with receiving compliments.
You’ve probably seen it happen (or done it yourself): someone offers a genuine compliment, and it’s immediately dismissed or deflected. The moment becomes awkward or uncomfortable, and instead of feeling appreciated, everyone’s left a little unsure of what just happened.
DISCLAIMER: I am a licensed clinical psychologist, and the information provided here is for general informational and educational purposes only. While I aim to share helpful and thoughtful content, reading this blog does not establish or imply a therapist-client relationship between us.
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please seek immediate help from a licensed professional or contact emergency services in your area. This blog should not be a substitute for professional mental health care or personalized guidance.
For personalized support or therapy services, please reach out directly to a licensed mental health provider in your area.
Why Is It So Hard to Accept Compliments?
For some, compliments feel undeserved. This is especially true for people who struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, or a harsh inner critic. You may complete a task but feel like you didn’t do it "right" or "well enough." So when someone offers praise, your instinct is to reject it—because in your mind, it wasn’t actually a success.
(Want to read more about silencing your inner critic? Check out this blog post.)
Spotlight Anxiety and the Fear of Taking Up Space
For others, it’s not about the content of the compliment, but the attention it brings. If you were taught not to take up space or shine too brightly, a compliment can feel like a spotlight you'd rather step out of. The goal becomes: exit stage left, as quickly as possible.
The Inner Critic Is Loud
In many cases, this discomfort is rooted in an internalized belief that you’re not worthy of recognition. When the inner critic is loud and persistent, kind words can feel dissonant—or even suspicious. You might instinctively downplay your efforts or redirect credit to someone else, often without even realizing you’re doing it.
But here’s the thing: when you deflect a compliment, you’re not just denying yourself a moment of encouragement—you may also unintentionally make the other person feel rejected or awkward. Most people don’t give compliments out of obligation. They’re expressing something they genuinely noticed and appreciated. When you shut it down, it can feel like you're rejecting their kindness.
So, What Can You Do Instead?
Accept the compliment. Say, “Thank you.” And then move on.
Really—it can be that simple. No need to explain it away, add disclaimers, or diminish your effort. A sincere “thank you” is more than enough.
Simple Phrases to Help You Accept a Compliment Gracefully
If a simple “thank you,” doesn’t seem like enough, you can practice adding a few more words while still keeping it straightforward and concise.
A few examples:
“Thank you, I really appreciate that.”
“That means a lot to me, thank you for saying it.”
“I appreciate that you noticed. Thanks!”
“I’ve been working hard on that, so it’s really nice to hear you say that.”
How to Accept a Compliment Without Losing Humility
Accepting a compliment doesn’t mean you’re arrogant, full of yourself, or fishing for more praise. It simply means you’re acknowledging someone else’s kindness. Think about how it feels when you offer someone a sincere compliment and they smile, say thank you, and let it land—that moment feels good, right? You likely don’t find them off-putting for accepting your kind words. The same applies to you. It’s entirely possible to receive a compliment with genuine gratitude and still remain humble. Grace, appreciation, and humility can all exist in the same space.
How to Silence Your Inner Critic One Compliment at a Time
If you want to go a step further, try reflecting on the compliment later. Write it down. Journal about how it made you feel. See if you can begin to internalize those positive messages to strengthen that quieter, inner cheerleader voice. Over time, this small habit can help you shift your self-perception and soften the grip of that inner critic.
(Add this blog post about journaling to your reading list: Journaling 101)
Therapy for High Achievers: Exploring the Root of Praise Discomfort
As you reflect, you may notice that your discomfort with praise is tied to deeper dynamics—perfectionism, low self-worth, or fear of vulnerability. If that’s the case, know that you’re not alone, and support is available. Working with a therapist can help you better understand those patterns and learn how to respond to kindness with confidence and grace.
(Add this blog post about perfectionism to your reading list: Be an Imperfect Perfectionist)
If you’re ready to explore this further, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. Reach out—I’d love to hear from you.
